Changing just like that

It's amazing how one thing can change your emotions just like that, within a split second. Gone from crazily crying to be happy back to feeling unhappy again in about 16 hours.

I can't even describe how I'm feeling at the moment, totally fed up and not enjoying my own company. I used to be able to spend a whole weekend like this pottering around the house doing whatever now I'm sat at my computer not knowing what to do with myself until bedtime. There's no need for me to go out, there's noone to go and see, I've no doggy to go and walk, there's nothing to do around the house that would take more than 30 minutes to do until I'm back to square one. Doesn't help today that I got up and dressed quickly as our neighbour is doing something to our driveway so had to at least be dressed and looked half decent. Now the morning is on go slow. Wanted to go for a walk to kill a few hours but as I walked so far yesterday my shoes are hurting me (whichever pair I wear)

Tonight I was meant to meeting up with those who I'm going on holiday with, I can't even call them friends as I don't even know them much. Met them like twice? (apart from 1 who I've known and worked with for years) been hanging on all week for a decision about us meeting and then find out for definate this morning after many messages that it's not happening. Ok for them they've got their lives to lead what does it matter? Now trying to arrange another time to meet up, god knows when that will happen as plans are always changing left, right and centre. (3 lots of plans this holiday but only 1 happened with all of us) It annoys me as I never cancel on plans I make (once when I was unwell), it's always everyone else. I understand that things happen but to be honest it seems all the time at the moment.  But again it makes no difference to them but to me it does, just leaves me sat at home on my own.

Work is back in on Wednesday but even that doesn't fill me with excitement at the moment, but at least i'm out the house and get to see some of my friends and they can't cancel on me, probably why I enjoy it so much. I have some planning that needs doing, maybe I could do that? I really haven't got the enthusiasm for it.

Best get on with doing nothing and try and get this bitterness out of me. Hope everyone is enjoying the sunshine and their day.

Laters.