And it sure does! Had such an awful start to the weekend and was feeling very upset in my last blog. But from then I had an ok saturday just pottering around the house although still found myself somewhat bored. This weekend will no doubt be identical as Mom and Dad are away again, luckily they're leaving Benji here so shall be living it up with him this weekend! ;-)
Sunday I spent the day in Derby. Visited a lovely health club where we made use of free facilities for the day, a lovely outside swimming pool, felt like I was a million miles away. After a bit of milling around and debating on a random trip to see our latest favourites ;-) went for a lovely sunday lunch with two special people...i'm sure they will LOL if they read this!
Since Sunday I have contemplated making a drastic change in my life, for now I will not say what this is in case it doesn't all happen for me. If it does I believe it will be the best and biggest change I could ever make. Watch this space....is all I will say.
For now we have a day at work tomorrow, luckily it's own clothes day (never feels like a real day then) and then it's back to four days off. It'll all be relatively quiet but have a few bits to do.
Wednesday 27 April 2011
Saturday 23 April 2011
Changing just like that
It's amazing how one thing can change your emotions just like that, within a split second. Gone from crazily crying to be happy back to feeling unhappy again in about 16 hours.
I can't even describe how I'm feeling at the moment, totally fed up and not enjoying my own company. I used to be able to spend a whole weekend like this pottering around the house doing whatever now I'm sat at my computer not knowing what to do with myself until bedtime. There's no need for me to go out, there's noone to go and see, I've no doggy to go and walk, there's nothing to do around the house that would take more than 30 minutes to do until I'm back to square one. Doesn't help today that I got up and dressed quickly as our neighbour is doing something to our driveway so had to at least be dressed and looked half decent. Now the morning is on go slow. Wanted to go for a walk to kill a few hours but as I walked so far yesterday my shoes are hurting me (whichever pair I wear)
Tonight I was meant to meeting up with those who I'm going on holiday with, I can't even call them friends as I don't even know them much. Met them like twice? (apart from 1 who I've known and worked with for years) been hanging on all week for a decision about us meeting and then find out for definate this morning after many messages that it's not happening. Ok for them they've got their lives to lead what does it matter? Now trying to arrange another time to meet up, god knows when that will happen as plans are always changing left, right and centre. (3 lots of plans this holiday but only 1 happened with all of us) It annoys me as I never cancel on plans I make (once when I was unwell), it's always everyone else. I understand that things happen but to be honest it seems all the time at the moment. But again it makes no difference to them but to me it does, just leaves me sat at home on my own.
Work is back in on Wednesday but even that doesn't fill me with excitement at the moment, but at least i'm out the house and get to see some of my friends and they can't cancel on me, probably why I enjoy it so much. I have some planning that needs doing, maybe I could do that? I really haven't got the enthusiasm for it.
Best get on with doing nothing and try and get this bitterness out of me. Hope everyone is enjoying the sunshine and their day.
Laters.
I can't even describe how I'm feeling at the moment, totally fed up and not enjoying my own company. I used to be able to spend a whole weekend like this pottering around the house doing whatever now I'm sat at my computer not knowing what to do with myself until bedtime. There's no need for me to go out, there's noone to go and see, I've no doggy to go and walk, there's nothing to do around the house that would take more than 30 minutes to do until I'm back to square one. Doesn't help today that I got up and dressed quickly as our neighbour is doing something to our driveway so had to at least be dressed and looked half decent. Now the morning is on go slow. Wanted to go for a walk to kill a few hours but as I walked so far yesterday my shoes are hurting me (whichever pair I wear)
Tonight I was meant to meeting up with those who I'm going on holiday with, I can't even call them friends as I don't even know them much. Met them like twice? (apart from 1 who I've known and worked with for years) been hanging on all week for a decision about us meeting and then find out for definate this morning after many messages that it's not happening. Ok for them they've got their lives to lead what does it matter? Now trying to arrange another time to meet up, god knows when that will happen as plans are always changing left, right and centre. (3 lots of plans this holiday but only 1 happened with all of us) It annoys me as I never cancel on plans I make (once when I was unwell), it's always everyone else. I understand that things happen but to be honest it seems all the time at the moment. But again it makes no difference to them but to me it does, just leaves me sat at home on my own.
Work is back in on Wednesday but even that doesn't fill me with excitement at the moment, but at least i'm out the house and get to see some of my friends and they can't cancel on me, probably why I enjoy it so much. I have some planning that needs doing, maybe I could do that? I really haven't got the enthusiasm for it.
Best get on with doing nothing and try and get this bitterness out of me. Hope everyone is enjoying the sunshine and their day.
Laters.
Thursday 21 April 2011
Thursday
So a week on from when I decided to give myself a kick up the backside slimming world wise and a it's a week done good. Even with drinking lots on saturday night and eating pizza and doughballs at pizza express on Tuesday the scales showed a 1lb off this morning. Slowly going in the right direction. Only 10lb to go for my first mini target.
Still feeling so slightly down about things, I'm ready to get back into the routine of things with work etc. Can't wait to skip these next few days where I'm gonna be home alone from friday to monday, where i'm just sorting out my planning and job application forms. Hate that I can't really make any plans with anyone where it's not gonna cost me £££ to get there or do something. Supposed to have plans on saturday but that's not looking possible and having to wait to hear about it :-/ Moaning about it a lot on twitter really helps in some ways but if i had to read my tweets I'd be sick of reading the same things by now. I often feel it's good just to get it out there or a way of letting people know without actually have to admit it if that makes sense?
Anyways not much else to report, managaed to get a few bits and bobs for holidays on Tuesday when I went to Manchester. 2.5 hours in Primark pretty much killed me lol. Was also able to look after Charlie these last few days, he's growing up so fast and seeing his little face makes me very happy.
x
Still feeling so slightly down about things, I'm ready to get back into the routine of things with work etc. Can't wait to skip these next few days where I'm gonna be home alone from friday to monday, where i'm just sorting out my planning and job application forms. Hate that I can't really make any plans with anyone where it's not gonna cost me £££ to get there or do something. Supposed to have plans on saturday but that's not looking possible and having to wait to hear about it :-/ Moaning about it a lot on twitter really helps in some ways but if i had to read my tweets I'd be sick of reading the same things by now. I often feel it's good just to get it out there or a way of letting people know without actually have to admit it if that makes sense?
Anyways not much else to report, managaed to get a few bits and bobs for holidays on Tuesday when I went to Manchester. 2.5 hours in Primark pretty much killed me lol. Was also able to look after Charlie these last few days, he's growing up so fast and seeing his little face makes me very happy.
x
Monday 18 April 2011
A long while!
So it's been 2 months since I've last done one of these. A lot has happened since I last blogged, most of which I won't go into. In honesty it was toughest thing that I have ever gone through and at times I was very much at breaking point and felt like I was at the lowest point in my life. Luckily I had family and 1 or 2 others who really helped me through it.
Slimming World has been going ok, I now stick to it as I enjoy the way the plan works. Eating healthy. If I can lose a few lbs in the process then jobs a good un.
Right now I am on my Easter holidays. Now usually I don't enjoy the holidays that we get, I find myself sat on my own doing sod all being very lonely. I have found until yesterday that I was enjoying my time off but for the last 24 hours I have not been able to shake off this feeling of just wanting to burst in to tears, part of me can't work out why I'm feeling this way but I am really hoping it will pass as I shouldn't spend my life feeling this down. I have tried thinking of all the things that should make me happy but it's not controlling my wanting to break down and cry'
Well hopefully I can update this more, even if noone is reading this, in part it helps me to air how I feel.
Goodbye for now.
Slimming World has been going ok, I now stick to it as I enjoy the way the plan works. Eating healthy. If I can lose a few lbs in the process then jobs a good un.
Right now I am on my Easter holidays. Now usually I don't enjoy the holidays that we get, I find myself sat on my own doing sod all being very lonely. I have found until yesterday that I was enjoying my time off but for the last 24 hours I have not been able to shake off this feeling of just wanting to burst in to tears, part of me can't work out why I'm feeling this way but I am really hoping it will pass as I shouldn't spend my life feeling this down. I have tried thinking of all the things that should make me happy but it's not controlling my wanting to break down and cry'
Well hopefully I can update this more, even if noone is reading this, in part it helps me to air how I feel.
Goodbye for now.
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